ngatusthoughts: a drawing of my avatar with an eye injury thats censored, just meant to look cool :) the style is cartoony (Default)
( Mar. 11th, 2024 11:09 am)
hello entry, it's me again, nate or natu, sy, whatever.
floating through thoughts like a leaf on the wind, except this wind has found its way through the vast corridors of the internet.

got me thinking again, not unlike the times i wonder about the spirals and the spins, but today, it's the depth of the internet that's caught my whimsy.

sooo the online world, right?

social media, websites, blogs like this...

it's like plunging into an ocean, isn't it?

at first, there's this exhilarating rush of freedom, the cool embrace of endless possibilities brushing against your skin.

it's like the moment your feet lose touch with the ground, and you're suspended in something vast, something immense. you kick, you swirl, surrounded by a world that's both alien and incredibly intimate.

but then, as you delve deeper, the light from the surface begins to dim, and what was once exhilarating turns into an overwhelming cascade of currents. these currents, they tug at you from every direction: tweets, pings, scrolls, a never-ending whirlpool of content, pulling you down, down into the abyss.

it's funny, isn't it? or perhaps 'funny' isn't the right word. intriguing, maybe, how the ocean of the internet mirrors the depths of the sea. both are vast, uncharted in their fullness, hiding wonders and terrors in their depths. the deeper you go, the heavier the pressure, the harder it becomes to swim back up to the surface. you're caught in a riptide of information, a downpour of data that feels like it's filling your lungs, making it hard to breathe, to think, to exist outside of this digital deluge.

and yet, amidst this sensation of drowning, there's beauty. bioluminescent creatures in the deep sea, ideas and connections that light up the dark, guiding you, reminding you of the wonder of discovery. these sparks of creativity and human connection, they're like finding air pockets underwater, precious breaths that remind you why you dove in the first place.

but here's the thing about falling into water, about drowning in this digital sea: sometimes, you need to let yourself float back up.

to find your way to the surface, where the sun kisses the water and turns the world into a shimmer of light and life. it's there, in that space between the deep and the daylight, that you find balance. you learn to swim without sinking, to dive without losing sight of the surface.

so here i am, scribbling this entry, a note in a bottle cast into the vast ocean of the internet, wondering if it will find its way to shore or if it will be caught in the currents, drifting forever in the digital deep.

from your fellow traveler in the infinite sea, may you always find your way back to the surface, to the breath of air that waits beyond the screen.

till next time, entry.
ngatusthoughts: a drawing of my avatar with an eye injury thats censored, just meant to look cool :) the style is cartoony (Default)
( Oct. 15th, 2023 10:40 pm)
someone who i thought was a friend sent me nsfw art and asked if i liked it. i ignored it cause thats sort of weird and in russain they suddenly sent,
"самые отвратительные дети от непорочного зачатия. нарисовала своих персов чтобы забыть про них еще на год.
я все ещё жду ответ на вопрос от умницы".

right, what the fuck does that mean? so i google translated it and it showed up with this
" the most disgusting children from the immaculate conception. I drew my Persians to forget about them for another year.
I'm still waiting for an answer to the question from the clever girl "

we were talking about how i was born earlier and i told them i'm not a girl so.

SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMING.
were they hacked?? LOL
Tags:
hello entry, i'm nate or natu. whatever you want to call me i don't mind, i take nicknames too. i've had private thoughts as my own puzzle pieces for awhile in my journals but never really had anywhere to put them.

so here i am, and because if i leave this place empty it'll eat me up inside until i finally do something.

so i'm sitting,
not really doing anything, feeling the axis of the planet turn slowly.
there's alot of things that turn; wheels, yo-yos, merry-go-rounds, the hard disk in your computer, me sometimes when i'm on one of those thrilling wheely chairs :3

either way,

i wonder if maybe existence itself spins. or perhaps, a spiral.

what if life was a kaleidospic spiral. i mean, spirals are just a 'path of a point in a plane moving around a central point while continuously receding from or approaching it'. they usually have a end, well, most spirals atleast.

so maybe thats death, the calming relaxing end of the dizzyness and circles.

the universe expands, the galaxies spin, blackholes are spirals that vaccum things into it, so i reckon maybe life is the same way.

people usually reference journeys as a line, sometimes going up and down but isn't that boring? the goal is usually to go to one point, yes, but wouldn't it be more exciting if we got to spin as if we are on one of those carnival rides that spin around with the teacups and the corny music.

what is it called again?

...

i searched it up, it's just 'tea-cup ride'
hahahaha.

thats funny. probably. maybe.

anyways

from your outer thoughts to inner soul, may you follow your spiral in life and enjoy it well.
i know i ain't.
.

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ngatusthoughts: a drawing of my avatar with an eye injury thats censored, just meant to look cool :) the style is cartoony (Default)
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